I Will Go On [Live]

I Think I can ........I think I can .....I think I can

I KNOW I CAN!!! . Hi! my name is Laura (AKA Holly Hobbie . ! wil be posting more about special needs ext as I go along. But today what is on my mind is to talk about mental illness and it effects it has on me. I am going to be real as real as I can be. I have been diagnosed with three mental illnesses which have been debilitating at timess but God is with me and is my strength when i am week. Since my kids were transfered to the same group home with other special needs children . I have found myself having to be the stronger one in our marriage. I am not complaining God made it clear to me that it was my turn to hold my husbands up when he is weak. Only those who have or are in our situation or have lossed Children to the government or worse death can fully understand what we are going through. I know that God has a plan for me and maybe one day I will see the full extent of it, but for now I am choosing to be loving and forgiving. That is one of the things keeping me going that and my support list of people and of course God. I can't deny that suicide sometimes claims my mind but I am lucky to have Jesus and God in my life as well as long list of supportive friends and family who are constantly there telling me" it's okay you'll make it through hold on to your faith in Jesus and don't let Satan drag you down that's what he want to do" Others have told me they honestly didn't know what to say but that they would pray for us. My friends that is the best thing you can do for us that and pray. Telling me my autistic children are "better off where they are at" or that "maybe you needed the break Laura and S. (hubby) hurts more than one will ever know. I think I said this in another post but felt it all bared repeating. But I digressed away from my original intent of this post.....maybe that was Gods intent. I have been told I am sinning when I get depressed because I am not fully relying on God. That is something that could drive a depressed person to suicide especially if they are not Christian. It puts a bad taste towards Christians in their mouths. I go to a place that is called Gathering Hope House a couple times a week. Where I see people suffering from all kinds of mental health disorders it is a recreational/learning center that helps those like me deal with a variety of situations like how to stand up against abusive ignorent people.They also have a gym,art room and much more. I myself am an abstract drawer and love to color and much more i also love to go on the computers there and much more. It is also a great place to go when you are feeling down because of the staff. They are a really compassionate group of people.. Well I can ( to use a big word " pontificate " go on and on but I am going to end this blog with my quote of the day .......With God I think I can ,I think I can I know i can !!!.