Mental Illness and it's stigma

Hi my name is Holly Hobbie and I am not crazy or insane....that is often the stigma people like me,my friend s,V,B,S, T,D, and many others struggle with. Over the years and 4 nervous break downs later I have been diagnosed with Bi Polar disorder.PTSD(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)and Boarderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I was doing reasonably well from 2009 until I crashed the week of Sept 9th and landed in a psych ward. Though it has been a few short weeks and I am still feeling a little off at least destructive urges are almost diminished to just their usual (BPD) thoughts which is a good thing, If it wasn't for the fact that Jesus is my Lord and Savior there is no doubt I would have totally took a life I know deep down inside wasn't mine to take. He has saved my life so many times and has helped me form a healthy list of support people in my life.....not an easy thing to want to follow when your mind is so consumed or was so consumed with death and destruction at times. I am opening myself way up on here because I hope to be of encouragement to those who are struggling with mental illness,grief and heart ache as I have been . One may wonder what can make someone so low that they have or want to or are destructive, I have been told that everything that has happened to me over the past 43 yrs of my life is because of a sinful heart and lack of trusting in God. BULL HOCKEY!!! is what I say to those who claim that over me. Yes I have sin in my life from time to time....I'm not perfect haven't met anyone that is. But I have also been saved and cleansed by Gods saving grace and do my best to ask Christ forgiviness every day. I know that God loves me and is a forgiving God to those who ask for it. Truth is is God created all of us and loves the sinner but hates the sin as the cliche goes...It does NOT give us the right to sin though. I believe that a majority of my depression stems from not only circumstances but also because of physical health issues ...Like a messed up thyroid which is what I have. So in short I am praying for people who stumble upon this to have compassion for those of us who struggle sometimes silently with these disorders and many more like Schizophrenia and other mental health disorders and if you believe in prayer to the one true God then pray for us. These illnesses can be treated though not always affordable in some peoples minds. Some insurances do suck but I do believe and this is what is going to get me "crucified " that it is .... at least there is some form of help out there for everyone whether it be spiritual medical or financial....just some people don't know how or are afraid to reach out for it and give up and do foolish things such as murder ext. I know and have had people argue with me that there are many "woman as well as men "in abusive relationships that can't get the help and to some degree I agree with that, but I know of others who have risked their lives and are doing well because they were able to get out of that abusive relationship by finding a way to contact a safe place or person. Some it has taken years to find a positive way out I realize that and am proud of your couragous spirits. I encourage you abusers as well to take a good look at yourselves your pasts, and the way you treat others seek counseling before you wind up hurting or even killing someone worse than you may already have. I have been a victim but now a survivor of all kinds of abuse from people like you and want to plead with you to seek help before you destroy more than just yourself once you destroy a life be it physically ,emotionally,verbally you will never get it back or be able to fully keep it.....maybe you might think you can physically but someday we will all stand before God and answer for our actions and loose whatever or whomever you supposedly value