My Matt Man is at it again.

Autism stinks and OCD and whatever else my son may have . His aggression has become so bad that he beats the kids and the staff up on a daily basis at his group home and just this morning broke a car window.........yet my kids stupid insurence company thinks that having both my kids together in a group home geared for teenagers is a good idea.grrr. I hate the fact that their group home is an hour and a half a way from us but even if we could visit every day there is nothing we can do. My son beats up on us (mostly my husband) because he tries to protect everyone......when we go see him but he has cold cocked me in the head and kneck which seem to be the easiest places for him to reach,seeing as I am way shorter now than my husband and kids. It sucks to say that I am afraid of my own son and miss the old him terribly..do I love him stil ? Yes deeply but I have found myself disassociating from him at times. Easy to do when you see yourself and others get hurt all the time. I know there are other parents out there that feel the same way and feel hopeless and helpless. I do appreciate the staff there at the home for doing their best to try to help my son but I wonder how long before they themselves have to somehow give up on him...for their safety but most of all the other kids safety. There is one teen there in particular that is easy to fall in love with...I will call him A . A wants to be his friend he is the type of kid that wants to be every ones friend he is so sweet and gentle hearted,yet Matt won't recipicate...I am not sure Matt knows how to or wants to. Something inside my son just makes him tick the wrong way. He was like this long before he was taken from us and we were actually starting to look for a group home for him. He seemed to be doing well for the first 4 months or so when he was at a facility but the facility was a temporary place for violent adults but my son is only 16. It is very heart wrenching...I am trying to remember the younger years before he turned violent and cherish thos moments and may share some of the funny ones sometime.....so hold on to your hats this blog will have some funny wit to it at times. I do have a wacky sense of humor and may posts clean Godly jokes as well. If you hate politics and need to escape from it then stick with my blog. I ABHOR POLItics and that is all I will say about that.